Trooper Blog 10: 45 Caliber Sarah

SURVEY!

1) Do you have a pet?
Why would I need a pet when everyone else has so many?

2) Your best friend tells you she is pregnant, what do you do?
Tell her congrats and then laugh!

"Haaa! There go all your plans!"

3) When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face?
That's a daily occurrence. Probably when Siege was being a twerp.

4) What is the last thing you spent money on?
Presents for Christmas and Food.

5) Whats your favorite color?
I love dark green.

6) Would you ever go back to being a child again?
No thank you. I like being me right now. But it would have been nice to have my brother with me when I was a kid.

7) Congratulations! You just had a daughter!
Damn! I wanted a boy.

8) What are you craving right now?
Ice cream.... and pancakes.

9) What was the last thing you cried about?
Barb being in a coma. :0(

10) When you buy something and your change is 2 cents, you keep it or tell them to keep it?
Keep it. I mean... you never know.

12) Shoe Size?
None of your business!

Ummm... where's #11?

13) Are you happy?
I've been happy lately, but there is always going to be another dramatic tragedy that pops up. You know how it goes.

14) Who came over last night?
Siege came for... ahem... dinner at the mansion. (See: Kicked in the door and fell asleep.)

15) Have your brothers or sisters ever told you that you were adopted?
.... NO BUT MY BROTHER ACTUALLY WAS! HAAAAA!

Oh ... wait... My "Stepdad"... Oh jeeze.

16) What was the last movie you watched at home?
Rabe and I watched a Batman Holo ages ago. Since then, I just haven't had time.

17) Where do you hurt?
My eyes are tired, that's for sure.

18) What's something fun you did today?
I got to talk to my friends. They make my life.

19) Dress Size?
8

20) Is there anything hanging from your door?
The ship doesn't have many doors. But there is a towel on a hook by the door.

21) What kind of milk do you drink?
Bantha, Blue, and what ever is available.

22) What are you going to do after this?
Shower.

23) Do you like pickles?
Oh yeah!

24) Favorite pop tart flavor?
.... red?
............with that really hard paint-like excuse for frosting?

25) What are your plans for the weekend?
Training and helping watch the playboy mansion.

26) Do you like the color green?
Yes. Very much.

27) Who was the last person to call you and what did they say?
Barb. She said happy things about my bro. (Weird, I know.)

28) Last restaurant you went to?
I went to a Cantina a while ago. Why go out when I can make better food myself?

29) How many hours did you sleep last night?
About 6ish

30) Do you yell at your parents?
Mom's a whore and Dad's dead. So.... No.

31) Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
I'd like to think so.... but it's probably all those people who tremble in fear of me.

32) Have you ever changed your clothes in a vehicle?
Oh yeah. Loads of times.

33) Do you like your name?
I guess so. But who knows if it's even my REAL ONE?!?!?!? XD

34) What do you do when you are bored?
I'm rarely bored but I love cleaning my guns, Professor Chaos and General Disarray.

35) Do you like your job?
I karking LOVE my job. I'm a trooper and half Mandalorian. My life kicks ass.

36) What is your current mood?
Tired and oddly giddy.

37) What were you doing an hour ago?
Shopping for new clothes that aren't hand-me-downs.

38) What are you doing now?
Thinking about showering...

39) What is your favorite song?
Bad Romance - Lady Gaga

41) What time is it?
About that time...

42) Last person to text you?
Obi-Wan

43) Most visited website?
LotsOfGuns.com

44) If your life could be a TV show what would it be & why?
Good Eats. Or Iron Chef.
You know, anything on food network.
Why?
Ummm... it's the food network

45) When is the last time you cleaned your room?
Yesterday.... I GOT MY SHIP BACK! I WANTED IT TO BE CLEAN! ~~~LOVE~~~

Trooper Blog 9: You Take Away the Biggest Part of Me

... WOO WOO WOO, OH, BABY PLEASE DON'T GO.

There has been some REALLY weird stuff going on. No Joke. Mostly good, no worries.

Probably because they all involve me, so of course they're good. Duh.

Good News Number 1: BARB'S AWAKE!



I don't care what happened or how she ended up there and in a coma, but she's back. *glee*

Good News Number 2: I have a Twin Brother!



Yeah... as it turns out, that connection everyone saw between us... was family! Apparently our Mandalorian father met our deadbeat whore of a Hapan mother and decided to boink, have babies, AND THEN separate them like it's some Karking trend. Who does that?

He has the same eyes I do. It's... it's cool. I really like having him as a little brother. That's right. I said LITTLE brother. I'm 5 minutes older. I won the womb race. Go me!
He's my sweet little vod'ika and hopefully he'll teach me more about that culture. Honestly, I don't want to be trained by Bik. He doesn't know me and how I learn. He doesn't care. Siege does. He'll care and won't screw around.
Meanwhile, I'll be shoving Hapan culture down his throat. Mostly because it's a woman centric culture.... mostly. XD



Luke and Leia... Siege and Sarah... Why didn't we see this coming?

... Because we're Hapan and can't see a damn thing. 8D

Good News Number 3: I GOT MY SHIP BACK!



I nearly made out with the floor! Most of my things are gone, but it's good to see a few explosives and my bed again. I missed it so much. True love lasts forever.

I stayed at the mansion for the past few nights while Kiti, Ani, and Obi are on a cruise. So far, the only bad thing that's happened is that my stupid twerp of a brother kicked the door in. But he just broke the hinges so it was an easy fix.

I'm going to go make dinner then decide where I'm going to sleep. I really like all the pillows I have at the mansion. It kind of reminds me of the handmaiden pillows that I loved. But I missed the Reaver so much and it was always soooo comfy. Pillows. Reaver. Pillows. Reaver. ARG!

Trooper Blog 8: I'm Never Enough

UGH! I miss the old days where the was fun and the only pain in my life was physical.

All this emotion crap is making me soft and I don't like it.

Barb left. Just took off. Grabbed her Dog and just LEFT. Didn't tell anyone where she was going or anything. I'm not her mother or anything, but... I miss her.



I think I was more angry that she left than sad after a while. I missed her. I still do.

I planned a Truth or Dare game to take my mind off of it.
While leia did not have to fake an orgasm, I had to do my best Vader impression:
#SWTOD (TWITTERVERSE) Vader Impersonation: HOO-PAH HOO-PAH ! COME HERE PRETTY GIRLS MOO-HA-HA COME KISS ME WITH YOUR WINE STAINED LIPS AND TOTES BE ONE OF MY WIVES! ONCE I'VE COLLECTED 20 WIVES, I SHALL TRADE YOU IN FOR A PIKACHU! 'CEPT ARIA. SHE COOL.



I talked to Luke again. And again... You know what... Doesn't matter.
No one's on my side on this. It would only cause trouble. *represses more feelings that I'm sure will eventually become an ulcer*



AS IT TURNS OUT. VADER'S GOT HER.
SHE WENT TO THE MAN WHO WANTED ME GONE.

But the worst part is that (BECAUSE TWITTER IS A BITCH) because I'm NEVER ENOUGH, Luke and Leia went to go rescue her without me. WITHOUT ME.

I am 10 kinds of furious right now I can't even think straight!

I can't be funny. My head is WAY too messed up right now.

Trooper Blog 7: Waiting to Hang My Helmet

I guess I just haven't wanted to remember what was going on... it was a weird deal, let me tell you. But if I don't keep up the illusion that I think my life is awesome and important, then I'll ... I don't know... Turn back into a pumpkin and you guys would have to find your own semi entertaining life commentary. Sad for you.

I loved my ship.

My ship was awesome.


My Ship is gone.



I haven't been sleeping normally since I haven't been on my Ship... my old ship.

I slept under a table in the Mess Hall of the Lusankya. It's not my ship, I'm not Barb, and I wasn't familiar with the actual layout so it never occurred to me to ask if there was a bed to sleep in. But the flickering tube lights felt familiar and a little comforting. I doubt I would have slept better in a plush palace penthouse.

But this verse is filled with terribly kind people. And it's really absurd how nice they are to me considering the fact that I am a huge bitchface. I think it's because I was with Luke and Barb. People like them. They have the Force.

The people who saved us? Kiti, Obi, and Anakin.



I got there and got some crackers. I just had to settle my stomach. THANKS OBI WAN!

I was a little nervous... I just didn't want to sleep alone. And in comes my Barb... totally sharing her bed and not letting me sleep alone. I haven't slept in the same bed all night with someone in A VERY long time. I didn't even mind Bruin.

And no, nothing happened.

*gives a minute for the straight men to flush the thought from their minds*

Anyway... I slept for ages and it was just really nice.

I found out the next that they shipped Carl off to Kenya.

CARL! I MISS YOU! I'M GLAD THAT I SAVED YOU FROM THAT VAN!

YOU'RE MAH BOI, CARL!



Yeah Carl. Yeah you will.

Sucky stuff happens though. I love my Barb, but she got sickly And that really sucks.
She still let me sleep half the night with her so I wouldn't be consciously alone.



But since she was sickly, Luke took her to where she could be treated ... which I'm glad he did.

.........But I woke up in the middle of the night and realized that I was alone.

It must be the atmosphere but Anakin had it right when he slept under the bed. It's a very safe feeling place.




But it's been a very confusing day.
Shara met a very scary individual. She brought him over when I asked her to come check out Barb's illness. Ummm.... That's not happening again.

Ugh... writing these things always makes me want to be a Mean Girl. Who wants to cry?

And no... I don't want Siege. Not at all. He is a verbal sparring partner. That's it. You want wedding invitations? Talk to Navaar. *obscene gesture*

Trooper Blog 6: Wait for it.... NOW!

So the Epic battle between evil and evil was put on hold... Luke decided that an attack would endanger his sister too much and called it off. And since Leia would have, I assume, also been against shooting my ugly ass, I agree with Luke's decision. She's cool... for a Rebel.




I didn't get to attack with my own troops and I now understand that that is perfectly ok. Luke went down to face Daddy issues and Darth Vader head on BY HIMSELF. Yeah... right.

Barb and I don't take too kindly to being left behind, especially by someone we both deeply care for. Not 10 minutes after his shuttle landed on Byss, we were right there lurking outside the door.

I didn't feel too safe... It felt like our minds were somewhere else. Our bodies were hanging outside the room where Luke and Vader were pacing, but our minds were in some sort of very revealing therapy session.



It took Darth Vader disappearing to get us to snap back and realize that Luke wasn't well. We grabbed him and threw him on the shuttle and got him back to the Lusankya, who by the way, is a very polite and caring ship, and dumped him on a med bad bed.... And that's when the fun started. Lusankya knew something was wrong and said that Luke was weird. Different, somehow. And I'm a gal who trusts machines, boy howdy. *eyeroll*

A few evil cackles and foreboding phrases later, CREEPY!LUKE *breath* FORCE THEW BARB AND I AGAINST A WALL. Again, I HATE being Force thrown into walls!

After that, squirrelly Luke ran out the door and apparently got lost, turned around, and came back. But not after avoiding the shots from the ship. Ok... what?



I tried to stun him, but for once, I wasn't stunning. *yuk yuk*

But something happened to where he collapsed and ... just... not good.

Turns out Byss was a BAD BAD PLACE. Sir Prick McPalpatine is a BAD BAD MAN!

(BAD JOKE AHEAD)
It seems that Palpy took over Luke's body there for a second. But hey, I'd wanna take over his body, too, IYKWIM.
(THAT COMPLETES THE BAD JOKE. THANK YOU.)

Barb and I were worried. Like crazy-have-no-idea-what-to-do worried. Group hugs can only fix so much! We're sure this isn't over.

Hopefully things will either cool down.... OR WE CAN GO ATTACK BECAUSE, DAMN, I WANT SOME REAL ACTION AGAIN!

Ever since I have returned to my normal, awesome, gorgeous and undeniably Hapan form, I feel like I'm stronger. I have a higher pain tolerance and I know I can't get hurt as easily. I mean, I got thrown against a wall and I hopped right back up to chase his goofy ass. It felt good.



Anyway, I'm sure there will be more fun stuff coming. I mean, it wouldn't be the twitterverse if there wasn't some good-old-fashioned-back-of-the-hand-to-the-forehead drama and some blazing pistols. I live for that kind of stuff, yo.

Now who wants to make out... secretly? Mwahahaha!

-S

Trooper Blog 5: Oh My MAKER!

Things are getting WILD in more ways than one around here, yo. IT'S CRAZY! XD

The Verse is turning into a ZOO! Becky's got a cat, Barb found a dog, Navaar adopted a hoojib, and Obi has a dragon and an elephant. Oh ok... I'll take the blame for the elephant. What can I say? I'm a GIVER!


Maybe I should get an animal... Nah. I mean, I already talk to Siege every once in a while. That's pretty much the same thing. Meh.

And speaking of that piece of osik, I got suckered into going on this "check up" of a medical center that apparently "just had a broken communicator". Yeah right.
So we get up there and Barb and I check out a HUGE HOLE made by an explosion, our specialty. The whole deal was pretty shady in more ways than one from the beginning and I was really lucky that I had my night vision goggles on me.

Anyway, I turned a corner and got CLAWED in the BACK by a Karking Rakghoul! I passed the kriff out and the next morning, I looked like THIS:


I WAS NOT HAPPY! Siege got some of it too, but he didn't get all ugly like I did. I mean, more ugly that usual.

I saw Becky on the vid screen this morning and... I JUST WANTED TO MAKE A BECKY BURGER AND GO NOM NOM NOM! And then Vader, my new BFF, KARKING FORCE THREW ME AGAINST A WALL! I HATE BEING FORCE THROWN INTO WALLS! OMM I would have been really mad if I wasn't attached to a MEDICAL BED and it landed ON TOP OF ME. Mostly because it knocked me nearly unconscious and I really couldn't be mad.

THEN CAME THE SCARY NOISES.

Siege was next to me so I grabbed for his body and pulled him under the mangled bed with me for safety. My appetite left almost immediately when I saw guns aimed right at me.

It was Luke. LUKE WAS GOING TO SHOOT ME. Vader was telling him to shoot me because I was a Ugly Zombie thing and he didn't want the rest of the fleet contaminated. I knew I had been shot up with an antidote because I had a syringe mark on my arm and I was getting less slimy every second. Siege and I were going to be fine... but it seemed like no one but me knew that.

I had never been so scared. Even when Barb shot me, she did it so quick, I didn't have time to be scared!

He just stood there fore a long time with that gun pointed right at my head... but he put it down.

THEN HIS COMPANY STUNNED US AND SHOVED US ON THE CAELEM!


I owe him my life and I have sworn my loyalty to him. I now have troops in HIS army.

I can't wait until we DESTROY VADER. He wanted me to just... be abandoned. I mean, I know I'm not the greatest person in the world, but... COME ON.


Barb is coming. I am THRILLED. I can't wait until we can get together and take down the empire that stands for NOTHING. We are the Mean Girls and we are going to get Bitchy.


WISH ME LUCK, BITCHES! WE'RE GOING ROGUE MORE THAN SARAH PALIN!

Trooper Blog 4: OMGSOCUTE!

Yesterday was a really good day. Was there a highlight? You bet your ass there was. I got to give Luke’s Chittermyrr, LadeeGaga, a bubble bath. I’m pretty sure that Chittermyrrs were made to make me spout girly squealing noises because they are so karking cute. SO CUTE!

~~~

Do I have any plans for today? Not really… But I’ll probably get in some kind of trouble. I miss trouble. I’ve been pretty good lately… HOW FUN IS THAT? NOT AT ALL!
~~~

Kiti and Obi are back to normal. It was pretty funny, but I prefer awesome bitchy Kiti over grouchy bastard Kiti.
~~~

Now I’m going to do some empire paperwork to earn those credits they pump into my account.

Trooper Blog 3: Will it be a diary?

I’m not a reporter. That’s what the other Twitterverse blog is for. This is about me now. Deal.

~~~

I’m not an alcoholic, right? I mean, drunk comms and the occasional pheromone pool party don’t constitute the stint at rehab that Luke Lite is tying to send me to…. right? Hrm…

~~~

Making pancakes has become very therapeutic for me. I’m hoping that I can channel frustration in to something more constructive… and less fattening. I’m going to give my friends heartburn.

~~~

Ahh…. Barb and Luke. Still totally jealous that my bestie got the most gorgeous guy in the ‘verse. *whines* Why did I turn down that room at the palace? I could have at least had Barb around and have some eye-candy! Oh yeah… what did Kiti say? Naked and drunk…. yeah…. Whoops. That doesn’t help my alcoholic argument does it? XD

But how do you say NO to this?:

~~~

Batgirl Barbara and Force using Barbara. I’m surrounded by Barbs! And I love it!

~~~

Blocked a troll today. I usually don’t block people but today, I had no problems. None at all.

~~~

Navaar, whom I affectionately call Puff, has had a rough time and it breaks my heart. She is one of the nicest people I’ve met in the ‘verse and it sucks. Why she talks to a bitchface like me, I’ll never know.

~~~

Loving the rap and hip hop sing alongs with Barb and Rebecca. APPLE BOTTOM JEANS AND THE BOOTS WITH THE FURRRRR! lol

~~~

Still a little offended that Anakin didn’t trust my sincerity when I asked if he and the others were well after their debacle. Just because I’m a little bristly sometimes doesn’t mean I don’t care about my friends.

~~~

Sometimes it totally sucks not being Force Sensitive. Kinda makes you feel insignificant. But then lots of cool people don’t have the Force. Buuuuut most of them have Pheromones, which are just as good if not better than the Force. I’ll find my niche one day… and hopefully it doesn’t involved demolishing things. I love blowing stuff up and all, but sometimes I get that itch to create instead of destroy.

~~~

Stang… When is Grey coming back? I miss that little Chittermyrr!

Peace Out

-S

Trooper Blog-Issue 2: Morning so far...

You’re lucky I have an aim to update this frequently up front. But when you’re boring, I’ll be boring. Not my fault.

~~~

Looks like Siege is trying to build up a team to go “check out” an old medical space station. Anyone with a death wish or an itch to get some part of you blown off should contact our most decent Mando. I’m sure it’ll be nothing but fixing a broken communicator.

~~~

Bruce and Barb were chatting like little wives about their darling men. Barb now wants her very own Alfred… I’m sure there are tons of those in an emporer’s palace. No worries Princess Brahbrah, we’ll find you a manservant to draw your bubble baths. Now go and investigate who that Doctor in a Phone Box came from. I’m sure he’s totally sane and the new Stark-Wayne baby is as safe as can be.
~~~

Have you met Rebecca’s cat Neka? You should! Dawwww.

~~~

Has anyone seen the Chittermyrr? I need an ego boost. Is it sad that the only love I get is from something the size of a volleyball?

-S

A Trooper's Own Blog

You’d be surprised what you catch with you’re not snuggling with your latest squeeze. But I see it. I see it all and I can tell you all of it… if I’m following it. But I can’t promise that it won’t be biased. You want unbiased? Go to ABC.com. Consider me the Fox News of the Twitterverse.

~~~

Today was a nice morning… since I slept off the hangover. What? Orions do that to me! Shara was great company.

~~~

Barb and I almost got to destroy a rebel weapon holding facility. Too bad other people get in the way of our fun!

~~~

Be on the look out for nooblets who LOOOOOVE to troll. Report them at first sighting and then let #TeamMeanGirls at them. You don’t mess with the Twitterverse. As Kiti says, we know how to Rally the troops.

~~~

Kiti and Obi are still sex-switched. Let’s see how the rest of the night goes.

~~~

No. I’m not married. Never have been married. Never will get married. Marriage is for wussy quitters… or for men who just can’t sign a divorce paper.

~~~

Time to expand the Verse again. Welcome Star Wars, Star Trek, DC Comics, Popular Movies and Old Myths. This Verse was made for you and me! (But mostly me.)

~~~

This girl is tired and still needs to clean her guns. Maybe you’d like to meet them. This is Professor Chaos and this is General Disarray. *grins* Good night, my loves.

-S